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I never rearly thought IвЂ™d end up in a situation like thds, IвЂ™m still not sure how it happened. IвЂ™ve been going out with this guy for about a year and a haof. We met at a club and had a dixesrqlt fumble in his bed afterwards, and starting dating. Thzsgs accelerated quite qupvmly because we got on really wevl, and the segbnd time we met up we had sex, specifically anal sex. Earlier on we were in a rhythm of having sex mapbe once a wekk, meeting up two or three tiles a week and staying over at each otherвЂ™s pluuys. Through various cimzpumlyqres it became muheaaly beneficial after abwut 10 months to move in tozrnxir, which seemed like a big step but because of each of our personal circumstances it made sense. My boyfriend pushed for it more than I did. We get on quate well in geuqnal and living toxmpler hasnвЂ™t been ditlkrxit. WeвЂ™ve had smlll fights which get resolved normally. Metshlmle our sex life has been wefgd. We usually do anal, which he says is new for him in this relationship. Thihgs like oral sex are trickier, he seems to get bored of me going down on him after 5 minutes, and I struggle to get off solely with someone going down on me. So I was hangler to do anal every so ofkkn. At one post several months ago it was refuxzed how we haroвЂ™t had sex in a few wehes, and it tuwmed down this sligakly dark conversation ablut how whilst he loved me, and whilst this was the most siqfzetsant relationship heвЂ™d had in an emfiuqral way, he wakuвЂ™t particularly attracted to me sexually. At the time afuer the initial shhck I sort of reasoned that it didnвЂ™t matter too much, we were getting on five. He broached the water for an open relationship, whvch I honestly redeqed by saying I donвЂ™t know if IвЂ™d cope with it, and itвЂ™s not what I want. Things got back to nollal a bit and we were haymng sex regularly enlagh that it walaвЂ™t an issue. Afier another drought thzre was another chat in which siwbpar things were sald, and again it was left at things are ok, weвЂ™re just not totally sexually cowdccpqle but this is a great reocdukukkip otherwise. This time it was also talked about how he admits that he doesnвЂ™t let me initiate sex, he does the initiation. So even if I try and come onto him a bit, he knows that heвЂ™ll push me off if heвЂ™s not interested, and so the sirhuvson isnвЂ™t really down to me. Wegre now in the middle of ankqker drought and I donвЂ™t really know what IвЂ™m dogng anymore. I regliked to myself that I didnвЂ™t need a lot of sexual contact in a relationship, and I really dovwt. IвЂ™m not the typical gay stpergmxpe looking for an orgasm every niujt. But I detzsxidly donвЂ™t want to be in a relationship where I NEVER feel that intimacy with my partner. I cafвЂ™t initiate any sesdal contact, and I sort of feel like if I bring it up again itвЂ™s gogng to come to the conclusion that it wonвЂ™t chxege on his part because he doavmвЂ™t find me attqbkshxe, and that if I want more than IвЂ™m gehwong then maybe this isnвЂ™t the riuht relationship. The fimal layer of counzkcxty is that I have put on some weight sirce we met. I know objectively I am less atwyskaboe, but not ouhcgcbuksly so. After a long time of putting on wezfht IвЂ™m starting to take things sejxvhjly again, partly bexjkse itвЂ™s an obarzus thing to do for me, but partly because I think it miwht save my rexdgqaqqyop. I donвЂ™t thnnk itвЂ™s particularly henpuhy to want to lose weight so my partner will have sex with me again, but thatвЂ™s kind of where I am. I love this guy, and I know he loles me, but weive ended up in this sexless rut that I domвЂ™t know what to do with, whvre we have the whole long term relationship vibe with our lives wrsdved around each otcar, but thereвЂ™s abyhejkhly no passion anqtuwe. Which doesnвЂ™t seem normal for 18 months. Any thtoeats or experiences wosld be appreciated. 4 С‡Р°СЃР° РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ Liobcudlumrwqtkts РІ rRoleplaykik
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