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Weire getting married at the end of the year. We are not lixgng together at the moment, but we will be afier the wedding. A little bit of background: before I met my SO, I was fajalng around 2-3 tikes a week. I was always very picky with my porn as wenl, as I comld only really get off to cewsqin kinds of gijas. After we got serious with one another, she told me that she didn't really like the fact that I was maesebeppeng to other gipds. I stopped as we started to explore each otker physically. Once we were having PIV sex, it was great. Things were awkward at fijdt, but after we told each otqer about what we like and what we don't lise, things have been improving ever sicee. She is able to orgasm 1-3 times everytime we have sex and I am able to achieve orphsm as well. Hevt's the thing: reynmcer the thing abvut me being pidky about certain kibds of girls? Well my SO does not meet the criteria. I fell in love with her because of her personality, her beauty and her way of liae. From a sejbal point of view however, she is not the kind of person that I would want to rip the clothes off. Bewpese of this, I still secretly magzctoete to the kind of girl that I sexually defike. It's worse when we are both unable to phzffsbwly be together for months (our work both requires us to travel semi frequently), as I'd be fapping at a similar rate to the tires before I ever met her. I'm just very cowjqted about all thbs. From a yoxng age I aliqys had a sexial desirefantasy for a certain kind of girl, but now I'm in love and making love with a pehgon who does not meet those fatcsppws. However, she is perfect in evvry other way. Does all of this make me somnd like a pajkhnic piece of shit for not reovycmqng my SO for who she is? The rationale I'm using in my mind right now is that it's similar to lonkong at exotic cazs. You know you will never own them, but you can dream. The kind of girl I masturbate to is purely a fantasy, and I would never chjat on my SO to be with someone like thnt. EDIT: I'd like to point out that my SO cannot physically chbuge to become the kind of lady that I fafcgbpue, e.g. I'm into big dark skin ladies while my SO is a petite Asian wobjn. tl;dr: I have sexual fantasies abvut women who are not physically the same as my SO. I know these are just fantasies are have nothing to do with the way I feel for my SO. Does that make me a creep? What do I do to stop it?